Celebrities who hated their trips to New Zealand

Na vijf maanden op het zuidereiland te hebben gewoond kan ik met een gerust hart zeggen: ik ben blij dat het maar tijdelijk is.

Het Noordereiland ken ik nog niet dus daar heb ik nog geen mening over maar hier is het een echte stoere mannenwereld. Boys and their toys. Motoren en four wheel drives en het weekeind is pas geslaagd als er off the road gereden is en gejaagd en het liefst een combi van beide. Je met de helicopter af laten zetten om te jagen want drie uur rijden is zonde van de tijd. Hoeveel dieren heb je dan al niet om kunnen leggen! Oude gammele en zeer vervuilende auto’s. Hoe vaak je niet het schuifje van de verse lucht in de auto hier dicht schuift… Stoere opgevoerde auto’s die een takke herrie maken en amper nog trekkracht hebben. De meeste mensen zijn onverzorgd, heel veel te dik, kleine kinderen die aan flesjes cola lurken, rotzooi wordt uit auto’s gegooid, na elk weekeind overal kapotte flessen in de goten, rugby is heilig, het nieuws is hier zo beperkt dat je amper weet wat er in de wereld gebeurt. Een echte eiland mentaliteit. En het is hier (tot op heden) altijd takkeweer.

Ik snap wel waar de toeristen zo enthousiast over zijn hoor. De natuur is hier schitterend en je hebt alles redelijk dichtbij. De reis hiernaartoe maakt het ook aantrekkelijk. Het is zo ver weg dat het iets magisch gaat krijgen; bijna onbereikbaar. De afstanden die je hier dan gaat afleggen zijn ook behoorlijk. Ik denk dat de gemiddelde toerist hier zo’n vijf duizend kilometer gaat afleggen om alles te zien. Dan nog de tripjes op boten en met helicopters….daar gaat flink wat brandstof doorheen. Als je in Europa deze afstand aflegt kan je dezelfde natuur zien maar dan krijg je als bonus ook nog wat steden die de moeite waard zijn op je route.

Dit artikel stond in de NZ Herald:

8:25 PM Tuesday Dec 8, 2015

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Jeremy Clarkson isn’t the first celebrity to speak out against New Zealand.

Following Jeremy Clarkson’s online outburst against Waiheke Island, one of our most popular tourism destinations, we remember some of the notorious names who left New Zealand with a bitter taste in the mouth.

Rolling Stones

Back in 1965, either Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards or singer Mick Jagger famously described Invercargill as “the arsehole of the world” after the band played at the Civic Theatre. Years later, in 2009, the local council discovered a further crime against its fine city, a piece of graffiti in the band room at the theatre that simply read “Mick Jagger 65”.

Clearly not a fan of the southern end of the country, Richards later hit out against Dunedin in his autobiography Life, describing the city as a “black hole”.

“I don’t think you could find anything more depressing anywhere,” he wrote. “Dunedin made Aberdeen seem like Las Vegas.”

The Pretty Things

If you thought the Stones were wild, think again. The Pretty Things’ 1965 tour was so wild that Parliament presented the band with a life-time ban, curtains were set alight and youth were corrupted, after all.

Guitarist Dick Taylor remembered New Zealand as being “a bit like going back in England 20 years before the 60s”. The infamous tour was even documented in a book called Don’t Bring Me Down Under.

“The whole trip for me was like waking up in a Dali painting with no exit to reality. If I was ever to have a nervous breakdown it would have been there,” Taylor wrote in the book’s foreword.

But it seems the band made peace with our country, defying the life-time ban to return for a slightly less eventful concert in 2012.

John Cleese

English comedian John Cleese angered the mayor of Palmy in 2006 when he described the city as “the suicide capital of New Zealand” on his website.

“If you wish to kill yourself but lack the courage to, I think a visit to Palmerston North will do the trick,” he elaborated.

The audience laughed at all the wrong places and Cleese said he had a thoroughly miserable time.

“The weather was grotty, the theatre was a nasty shape and the audience was very strange to play to.”

Palmerston North’s mayor Heather Tanguay hit back at the funnyman, suggesting his medical problems were to blame for his attitude.

Tyler, the Creator

The rap group Odd Future first visited New Zealand in 2012, where they were set to play the Big Day Out. However, their performance was axed following complaints their lyrics were homophobic and encouraged “bullying and violence”. The group were subsequently banned from entering the country again last year, after being determined a threat to public order.

Frontman Tyler, the Creator, took to Twitter to rant against the decision.

“OF IS BANNED FROM NEW ZEALAND, AGAIN. THEY SAID WE WERE ‘TERRORIST THREATS AND BAD FOR THE SOCIETY’ OR WHATEVER. SICK. THEY ARE ANTI GOLF,” he tweeted.

Odd Future were later blocked from entering Australia as well.

Graeme Smith

In 2004, Graeme Smith, the then-captain of the South African cricket squad, angered Hamilton by referring to it as a “hillbilly city” in a newspaper column, although he claimed it wasn’t an insult.

“The spectators appear marginally more rough and ready than at other venues and they clearly pride themselves on their turn of phrase,” he wrote.

“One of our senior players was told that his mother was his brother, which none of us understood, but all recognised as an insult.”

“When our man replied that the bearded man’s mother was probably a sheep, he replied: ‘Yeah and bloody proud of it’.”

Even Invercargill mayor Tim Shadbolt jumped to defend Hamilton.

“It’s a serious issue for small-town New Zealand, the sort of thing that could result in an extra star from the tourism board, and the basis for one of those catch-by slogans like, ‘Hamilton, there’s nothing wrong with it’,” he said.

Chris Latham

Two years later, the Queensland Reds captain Chris Latham joined the chorus of complaints against Hamilton, blaming boredom for his team’s loss against the Chiefs.

“If we were here in sunny Brisbane, there’s a lot of things to do and a lot of places to go and get out and get motivated and get moving,” he said.

It certainly wasn’t a bright time in Hamilton’s history — just a week before Latham’s comments, a South African rugby columnist said Hamilton was the most hated tour destination for the Springboks.

Prince Charles

His thoughts were contained in a public letter, but it seems it wasn’t all smiles and waves on the royal tour of 1981, where Prince Charles got really, really sick of New Zealanders making fun of him for falling off a horse in Australia.

“Kindless, fallacious remarks and references about falling off horses are beginning to get through to me,” he wrote in a letter to a close friend which has since been sold at auction.

“It seems as though the main thing they know about me out here! It all increases my determination to make them laugh out the other side of their faces one day!” he continued.

The disgruntled Prince of Wales went on to take a swipe at the young New Zealanders who came out to greet him.

“If one more NZ child asks me what it’s like to be a prince I shall go demented,” he wrote.

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